I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
