East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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