I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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