Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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