This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
