how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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