i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
