okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Congratulations! We have a period
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
