"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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