so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
