You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
