What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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