It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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