He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
A bitchslap is in order.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
