Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
