bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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