Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
