Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
