my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
