So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
