what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
