shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
A+ Viking dick
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
