I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
