i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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