Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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