well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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