I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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