so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
