So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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