whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
