there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
