I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
