Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
