How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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