He is such a slut. More and more my type.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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