I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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