Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
