So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
