The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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