i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
