...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
