I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
