Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
