I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
