Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
