let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
