Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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