smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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