You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
