I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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