idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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